STEWIE OH STEWIE BOY OI
by NikisaHOTtie
Summary: Stewie Oh boy oi yoi oi yoi doi poi doi yoi yoi yoi....
1. Chapter 1

**SAM IS MINE, MINE, AND MINE!**

**Chapter 1: Talking Like B**

"Hello?" A smooth, malicious voice greeted. The owner of the voice pressed the black RAZR phone to her ear and listened into the speaker. To her disappoint, it was not he. It was just her annoying, air headed prep of a friend, Daphne Brown. Ugh, she thought, what the hell does she want?

Daphne replied, "Hey, girlfriend! I just wanted to, like, ask if you were going to that auction for the charity ball?"

What the hell? Why would Amanda, the Amanda Anders of Titan High, want to go to some help-save-the-poor event? It was bad enough Daphne was calling her so early in the morning, but this? This was just sad, no, less than sad—it was _pathetic_.

"Oh…" Amanda fell into her roller chair, turning around to face her IMAC. The laptop booted up and displayed her screen saver and personal settings. She began typing words on her AIM account and started a conversation with her big-time, hottie crush, _Sam_.

**2tight4uboo: **Hey, Man.

Amanda winced. She hated that nickname, even if he invented it for her. It implied she was masculine to people who did know it was short for her real name.

**2tight4uboo: **R u going 2 that Charity ball?

She nearly shrieked with excitement, her squeal being sent to the other line to Daphne, whom was uninformed of the conversation being exchanged between the two.

"_What_?" Daphne blinked, on the other line.

Amanda realized the airhead was still connected on her RAZR and feigned an apology, "Sorry—my, uh, mom was telling me something."

Whether or not Daphne really believed her, or just choose to pretended to please her, she continued, "Well, you need to bring a date."

Amanda dropped the cell phone, letting it fall on her blue heart-shaped pillow. An idea hit her and then she quickly grabbed the miniature phone back up again and smoothened out her dark hair, as if she could see actually see here. "Hello?"

"I'm going with X. He asked me out!" Bragged Daphne, not knowing Amanda had not been paying attention.

"Really," she sounded uninterested with this information, and tapped her fingernails absentmindedly against her desktop. "Wait, you mean that bad ass kid?"

"Yes," answered Daphne in a mumble, not sure if she would approve of her choice in dating. Amanda responded,

"He looks like Sam, kind of," decided Amanda, thinking, "Out of ten, I would rate him a nine and a half."

Daphne was puzzled and looked like it, too. "Why nine and a half? What about the last half?"

Amanda cursed in her head mentally, being reminded that in Fifth Grade, she would ask Daphne to complete her math assignments. Then when the homework was graded she would get good, decent grades like B+ and A-.

"Because the other half belongs to you!" Laughed Amanda, before hanging-up on the girl. Oh, well—there's plenty more where that, or should say she, came from.

**2tight4uboo: **Umm, r u still here?

**2tight4uboo: **Hello?

She glanced at the screen and thought, '_Oh, shit_!' She forgot about Sam over a person she could not care less about. She quickly typed something random, letting him know she was still online.

**Mizpopular16: **g 34.

**2tight4uboo: **Huh?

**BikiniBabe16: **Srry. Was talking 2 a friend.

**2tight4uboo: **Oh.

**2tight4uboo: **Well r u

**BikiniBabe16: **Yeah…accept 1 thng.

**2tight4uboo: **_Except _you mean. _Accept _sounds the same but it has a separate meaning.

Amanda growled. She hated it when people corrected her grammar and spelling! It was so annoying and it made her feel stupid. _She_ knew she should be the one making _other_ people feel _stupid_.

**BikiniBabe16: **Oopsies?

**Bikinibabe16: **Don't have a date.

As soon as she pressed enter, she immediately regretted it. She must have looked like such a loser! She could just imagine him sitting in his chair after receiving that message, thinking,

"_No wonder she doesn't have one. I wouldn't be hers if I was fucking paid too." _

**2tight4uboo: **Y?

He was actually asking why? Maybe that was a possibility, though, that he could not believe she was dateless. That it was surprisingly to him that someone as drop dead gorgeous and smoking hot was dateless. There must have a been problem or reason, he might figure.

She could just tell the truth. Tell him that no had asked her, or that she was not informed about the social event. But that would look bad, too; if he knew no one asked her, the alternative would be that it was because she was ugly or stupid. Either way, she lost. And not being told about such a huge social event would imply she was a loser. So she lied.

**BikiniBabe16: **Oh, well, u know…I was flying in a private jet Daddy bought me to Hawaii and then when I came back one of my many maids was like, 'r u going to the auction ball?' an hour ago so of course no got 2 ask me. Except 4 3 guys that r not cute enough 4 me.

**2tight4uboo: **Huh…well, I got a lot of offers but I rejected them all. The girl I like hasn't asked me. _Yet_.

Amanda felt her lips curl. Naturally, she would question _who_ the special girl was. For reasons like knowing who to spread rumors about and add to hit list. But then, if she played it nice, by minding her own business and doing the right thing, he might think she was a nice, good girl that he would want to date. But she could not resist—oh, who could?

**BikiniBabe16: **Nice touch, 'yet'. Maybe I'll go w/ X or Roy?

She knew perfectly well that Sam and X hated each other, so going out with him would make him not only extremely jealous if he liked her but hurt. And Roy was a good friend of his, so it was bound to happen that there friendship would be demolished if she did. Wait, wasn't that Daphne girl going with X? Oh, well…she was hotter than that wannabee and if she asked him, chances were he would break up with Daphne.

**2tight4uboo: **X is going w/ some girl…and Roy isn't going.

Crap. He had nailed her! Well, she thought, I'll just imply I can go with him. That way I might not have to face rejection.

**BikiniBabe16: **Shit…look's like I'm dateless. Isn't there anyone else besides_ u_?

She hoped emphasizing the "u" to make it seem like she would rather die than go to the dance with him. Her face grinned, picturing his crestfallen and jealous face when he finished reading that reply.

**2tight4uboo: **yeah, I was thinking the same thing, but only the desperate girls like Kitten are left…

Amanda clenched her fists. Kitten Mottling, that being her real name no matter how distasteful it was, was infamous for being a spoiled brat. She knew from personal experience.

**BikiniBabe16: **That sucks…isn't she going out w/ that rock _hot_ guy Fang or whatever?

By slanting hot, he might get the impression she was not attracted to him. And then she would be desperate, but untouchable. That was one of the most desirable things a girl could possess. At least that's what _Glamour Girl_ said in an article once and someone said he liked that in English once, too.

**2tight4uboo: **Yeah, but knowing her, she'd cheat on her own mother if she…but anyway, there's no one else, right?

**BikiniBabe16: **No…not that I know of.

**2tight4uboo: **I'll see u there. Oh, and wear something black and or white—we'll match that way. I'll pick u up at 11:45.

**2tight4uboo has signed off. **

He asked her out! Not her asking him out and him saying yes out of pity but him—well, it was more a last result…but still. No one had to know that. Besides, them together would look absolutely _stunning_. The most precious, perfect, and heaven-sent couple on the floor.

Glancing at the Tiffany Clock hung on her wall; she concentrated while having the pen in her mouth, tapping it against her chin.

"Hmm…" She sprang from her chair, heading towards her gigantic wardrobe. There were skirts, tops, jeans, and dresses in different colors, sizes, and brands. More than half of them had tags reading Abercrombie, Calvin Klein, and let's not forget Gucci…

She did not sign off yet, because she wanted to print out the online conversation and savor the moment he established their date. But looking at the last comment, he had told her to wear black or white.

That black halter-top with spaghetti straps purchased from Nordstrom would be cute, especially with the creamy-white gloves. Her pants were dark denim Capri's and were form-fitting, showing off her curves inserted in all the right places. And those pairs of black Mary Jane's from Shoe Pavilion would compete her ideal outfit.

Ah, simply perfect.

Now for hair…what to do, what to do…hmm, that was a tough one, but she supposed that just having her hair down would be weak. Just then, on her plasma television, was featuring Stars and Models.

Ciara had her hair was highlighted orange-red in her natural brunette locks.

"_Well, other than it being cute, it would take much too long to straight-perm my hair_," Thought Amanda, contemplating on her hairstyle. "_Oh, well. I'll still look fabulous with whatever hairstyle I wear!"_ Then she decided on putting it in a messy bun.

Most Drop Dead Gorgeous and Smoking Hot Girl, coming through!


	2. How come theRes 2 two parties and food?

The girl was beautiful, though, that was obvious—her hair was long and brunette-auburn, in a relaxed perm that fell to her waist. Her eyes were emerald green with black mascara and eye shadow. Her skin…that was funny, her skin was tanned, but not like Alicia's. It was a darker, still very light, but brownish skin color.

Massie could tell that this girl was taller than herself, having a model figure. She had curves inserted in all the right places—boobs, hips, booty, and long, slender legs. All in all, she could beat Alicia in a second and was an eleven out of ten. Heck, even Nina would get a run for her money from this girl.

Alicia fumed, already jealous of this girl's bust. She tried to expand her chest out a little, but not so much that it was obvious and flipped some glossy hair. Massie was thinking hard, wondering:

Massie narrowed her eyes at the stranger. "Who the _fuck_ are you?"

"Suzella…Suzella Smith." Her tone was so smooth and relaxed, it could just melt you and make you want fall asleep forever. Her hand was now extended. "…And _you_ would be…?"

Evidently, the Pretty Committee had been gone for to long. But Massie had thought that their famous Clique would be legendary and at least not forgotten that easily. Her amber eyes did not differ in shape, for they were still slanted, but regardless she answered. "Massie Block."

Both confident women exchanged a formal handshake. Massie could not help herself but ask, "Where are you from?"

Suzella replied, "San Francisco, California. I just moved here last year in early March."

"That figures. We were _expelled_ in late February." She hoped her emphasis on expelled impressed the new girl.

"_Expelled_," Repeated Suzella, laughing, "Classic. I usually just referrals but never actually expelled."

Massie was still carefully examining this girl. "What are you?"

"What am I _what_, exactly?"

Massie explained, "White, Mexican…?"

"Oh!" Laughed the girl. "My mother's white but my father's black."

The crowd gasped in murmurs. Apparently, no one else had known this. Alicia looked interested. The last time another person of color came, it was Nina and, well…let's just put it _this_ way: it was no tea party.

"How come you're with _those _losers?" Massie pointed at Strawberry and Olivia. "You could be with us."

* * *

**Chridf- walkszed in theroo. "Hi where's my baby**

**"righr there," stewie smiles beautifully and eats a bowl of cereal. **

**"TEEN TIRAS GO!" Will Smith was wearing black and whitE! OMHFAHYOURUGLYBUTT**

**STEWIE, "UGH U FORGET ABOUT ME BABY?"""""  
**

**Chris munching on a hotdog, "Sorry mom." **

** MYLES BABBIT, "It's oikay"**

**"PIMPING!" **

**"PIMP MNAG RISWPLEASE**

**"does this skirt make me look fat?" Stewie eexaminez his butt-length pink tuto,. and chris know chewing on a sandwich slaps his ass. **

**"Hy thre big boy i'm liking that ass," **

**"CAN I get i **_diet soda_

**"YEAHGERALDS DANCE CLASS PPOLZ RIGHT?" **

**"EHMYFGSH!" Meg complAined.**

**"UGH WHAT HAPPRENED NOW?" TEWIE ROLLEDZ HIS PINK EYES. **

**  
**

"Oh, _that_. They came to me."

Alicia and Dylan let out a howl of laughter as well as the whole crowd. Claire grinned and the two girls blushed in em**barrassment.**

**Suzella continued, "Aren't you going out with Derrick Harrington?"**

**Massie smiled appreciatively. "Yeah. How'd you know?"**

**"Olivia talks about him all the time. She wanted to steal him like Strawberry stole Cam Fisher from some blonde girl Lair?"**

**Claire corrected her, "Claire." She then cut a glance at Strawberry angrily. If looks could kill, Strawberry would be in her coffin by now. Strawberry shrunk behind Olivia a little.**

**Suzella apologized, "Sorry."**

The Bell rang for the first time of the New Year of Eighth Grade. Massie, Claire, Alicia, and Dylan began to give their trademark walk by sauntering off to class, but Massie invited Suzella.

Massie and Suzella were already talking rather…talkatively all the way to class, leaving behind Olivia and Strawberry with the other Clique members at their sides.


End file.
